It's odd to not miss you as much as I did before. Missing you was such a big part of me these past few years that it feels weird not thinking about you every time I am not preoccupied. I am not certain if I have fully accepted that you are no longer a part of my life. They did say you never get over losing someone. You just learn to live without them. Maybe this is one of the better days where that ball of ache in my chest is as its smallest.
I am no longer angry. Well, mostly sad about how things ended between us. Anger, after all, is just sadness pretending to be tough. I wanted it to be quick and painful but I guess you wanted it to linger. And linger it did for some time. Every waking hour was hell having left me without even a goodbye. I had so many questions. Mostly questioning myself if I gave too much, or too little. If I was enough, if I have loved you enough. But I realized there is no point in asking because there is no one to answer but my demons, and they don't really give anything of use to me.
I hope all days are like today. Remembering you, but not missing you. It feels nice.
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I am no longer angry. Well, mostly sad about how things ended between us. Anger, after all, is just sadness pretending to be tough. I wanted it to be quick and painful but I guess you wanted it to linger. And linger it did for some time. Every waking hour was hell having left me without even a goodbye. I had so many questions. Mostly questioning myself if I gave too much, or too little. If I was enough, if I have loved you enough. But I realized there is no point in asking because there is no one to answer but my demons, and they don't really give anything of use to me.
I hope all days are like today. Remembering you, but not missing you. It feels nice.
