Saturday, April 22, 2017

Cockblocked By A Dog

I was supposed to fly to Steven's city later tonight so I can spend the weekend with him. Well, not the entire weekend, since he'll have to sneak out of his house to go to my hotel room in the evenings.

Yep, I'm dating another closeted guy but he's at least ten times deeper in the closet, if not more. I'd say he's a typical Chinese closeted guy but he's far from it and by far, I mean his situation is a lot worse. See, his mom prefers that they keep to themselves. He and all his siblings were academic achievers from really good schools in the country but at the expense of not having friends because his mom insisted that it was all that matters. So he doesn't have anyone but his family. He does everything with them - work with them, go out and eat with them, vacation with them. I recall him saying more than once that he's sick and tired of it. Anything done without them is bound to raise suspicions. Anything out of the norm will invite nagging questions. That means traveling often is not an option. Travel done without his family requires an elaborate excuse and he doesn't have much excuse until he decides to fuck it and run away with me.

We started talking in this dating site around December of last year. Been crushing on the guy for months before because holy cow! he's beautiful and plenty smart and seemed to have got things figured out. He's eloquent, too and has this genuine interest in people, in me. Hours pass by real fast when I talk to the guy and I'm obviously enamored. I know I told myself I'll get my shit together first before I even try to engage romantically again but he's just too good to pass up. We were together for six days when he flew to Manila in late January for a reunion (during which his mom would check on him at least twice a day). Even went to a church service for him (I shit you not my flesh burnt a tiny bit), because there was no other opportunity to meet. He snuck from his family to sit with me for a while until it ended then we parted ways. We have not seen each other since.

Anyway, his parents are out of the country for a two-week or so cruise somewhere in Europe and he's left here with two of his sisters to look after the company. Earlier this week he started floating this idea of me flying to him so we could spend time together. The caveat was he could only go to me after dark because his sisters will look for him. And I wasn't comfortable with the idea because it was all of a sudden and I don't have the funds what with the expenses of getting our house renovated, moving to another apartment here in Manila, plans of going back to school and all that adulting stuff. He generously offered to cover the cost which I appreciate but the proud part of me refused the offer because I'm a man and I should pay for myself. I also hate how situations like that highlight our socio-economic difference. We eventually settled into a compromise where he'd pay for half and I'd take care of the other half and that sounded reasonable.

So I asked him to book the ticket as I was busy at work. While he was doing that, he thought of putting his old dog buddy from college, JJ, in his sister's room to see if she will cry and look for him. Because if she does, his sister will, in turn, look for him to come pick her up. And what do you know? She did and she did which is mighty unfortunate. I asked him to ring the hotel if they were pet-friendly and, of course, they're not.

And that, my friends, is the story of a blind, old shih tzu cockblocking me.


Truth be told it's tough. No kidding. We're both in the closet. He's family is super conservative it'll make your head spin. We're hundreds of miles from each other. He's rich and I'm barely middle-class. I could go on. But I'm in too deep now. So it's best to swim until I get to him.


  1. I hope things turn out well for you guys! :) I know it sucks being the closet

    1. I fervently hope so, too. Thanks, Simon :)

  2. This is just so sad to hear that your own fam is the reason why youre leaving your life to enclosure. Just so sad that this exists in our society right?

    1. Sure is. The world ain't ready for us just yet. But hey, the future looks promising so who knows.


Roar with me.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...